Source : http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org

Christian Counseling - The Differences
As a general rule, both Christian counseling and secular counseling share the same desire to help people overcome their problems, find meaning and joy in life, and become healthy and well-adjusted individuals, both mentally and emotionally. Most counselors have graduate degrees and have spent years learning their craft.

The word "counseling" can have multiple meanings, including offering advice and encouragement, sharing wisdom and skills, setting goals, resolving conflict, etc. Counselors usually probe the past (whether the problem happened a week ago or during childhood) in an attempt to repair the present. Sometimes they explore possible affects of physical and chemical imbalances that can cause physiological problems. A major part of counseling is resolving and restoring conflicts between people.

Christian Counseling - The Foundation
Christian counseling is distinct from secular counseling. Christian counseling rises to another dimension. "In contrast to psychologically-integrated systems, Biblical counseling seeks to carefully discover those areas in which a Christian may be disobedient to the principles and commands of Scripture and to help him learn how to lovingly submit to God's will," reports the International Association of Biblical Counselors.

Christian counselors are able to do that because they have an absolute standard by which to measure their objectives and evaluate their counselee's lifestyle. They see the Bible as the source of all truth. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says, "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." The secular counselor has no such standard, but instead, they use the latest psychological findings or societal norm, both of which change with the winds of time. Therefore, a secular counselor has no absolutes with which to judge morals and the choices people make. Christian counselors understand that the Bible has a lot of practical wisdom about human nature, marriage and family, human suffering, and so much more. By using biblical concepts in counseling, they can instruct people in the way they should go and also hold them accountable. Psalm 119:24 says, "Your statutes are my delight; they are my counselors."

Although Christian counselors often use skills from the field of secular psychology and counseling, they recognize that the Bible, not psychology, is the final authority. "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness (2 Peter 1:3). A Christian counselor's major strategy is to help their clients substitute biblical truth for error as they go about their day-to-day lives. They know that the truth, when known, believed, and obeyed, sets people free. When people are set free, they are fulfilling their true calling. "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:32).

Christian Counseling - A Personal Story
Listen to the following testimony from someone who benefited from Christian counseling services, "My wife and I have found Christian counseling very valuable. We have enjoyed over thirty years of marriage together and are blessed with three children. Nevertheless, we have required 'marital realignments' from time to time. We have used the wealth of wisdom and sound judgment given to us by our Christian counselor to enhance our marriage. The counseling tools he provides has served us well as we continue to face life challenges together."

"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart" (Hebrews 4:12).

Christian Family Counseling - Our Most Important Ministry
Christian family counseling often starts with a simple wakeup call. For me, it was when I slipped into my son's room late one evening as I arrived home from work so that I could give him a goodnight snuggle and a kiss only to find him wide awake hunkered down under the covers.

"Hey Dad, it's Wednesday!" my 12 year old said. "Tonight was our date night, Dad! You forgot!"

Somewhere between the deadlines, the donors and the to-do lists, I'd forgotten the most important responsibility God had entrusted to me, that of my family. It had been weeks since my wife and I had a date together, just the two of us - without our work worlds on the agenda - and I knew things needed to change and change fast. Instead of focusing on work, I needed to focus on my family and let them know they were just as important as my work.

Christian Family Counseling - A Story that Repeats Itself
Why do many families need Christian family counseling? Well, we set out to meet our work goals and somehow in the midst of our work, we forget that waiting at home is that young boy hoping to play catch, that teenage girl who needs to talk about boys, or that spouse that needs to be treated with all the attention we used to give her when we were dating.

Why does it happen? How does it happen? How can you prevent it from happening to you? And why do we feel like we need to work so long and hard?

Recently, I met with a ministry leader for coffee. In between sips of Starbuck's, the truth about his family came out -- as it has so many times before with other ministry leaders. The leader I was meeting with told me the real story of where things were with his ministry. You see, the ministry was doing wonderfully well, it was his family that was suffering, and so much so that he ended up stepping aside temporarily to focus on them until things turned around. I was glad he had decided to do this, but surprised that I'd seen another scenario where ministry had edged out a leader's family.

Nobel Prize winning Harvard biologist Dr. George Wald has some thoughts: "What one really needs is not the Nobel laureate but love. How do you think one gets to be a Nobel laureate? Wanting love, that's how. Wanting it so bad one works all the time and ends up a Nobel laureate. It's a consolation prize. What matters is love."

Let me ask you this, if we were sitting at that Starbucks near your house and talking over our day, could I ask you a pretty personal question? What's the Nobel Prize you're striving for? Is it possible that the prize you're striving for has edged out your precious family or that spouse you were madly in love with during your courtship days? They need some of your best time, not just your leftover time.

Well, before the Starbucks gets cold and we've both gotta run, if it's time for a bit of a re-balancing of ministry and family, here are some ideas to jump start your thinking and help you get back on track. Got a pen? Jot 'em down on your napkin.

Christian Family Counseling - Craft a Family Mission Statement
When it comes to Christian family counseling, it's just as important to be intentional as a family as it is to do so where you work. We wanted our family to be on the same page as to why we were here on earth and what principles would govern our time together. We wanted a grid for decision-making and conflict to pass through. Need a head start? Here's ours:

Our family is going through life's journey together, growing roots in Christ and wings for our mission, becoming equipped to make a difference in our world by learning to live like Jesus, for Jesus and in Jesus.

We've designed other elements of this mission statement into the shape of a house with walls of laughter, doors of prayer, and windows of other important character qualities.

Christian Family Counseling - Family Mission Statement Tips
Carve out time for your family each week - in advance. Put it on your calendar. Stop saying you have got to get 'one more thing done' before you leave for home. Plan your week with specific ending times and stick to them.

Jettison things from your schedule that aren't important. March to the mission that Jesus called you to, not the mission others want you to do for them. Be ruthless here! If your work situation requires constant excessive hours to get the job done, it's time to evaluate other ways to accomplish the task. You can't accomplish the mission of the organization single-handedly, so stop trying! Pray for the Lord to send workers into your harvest field and then sit back and watch Him go to work. Pray for supernatural results from the time you do put into your day, then go home and be a minister to the other mission field God gave to you - your family. If you're a leader of others, have people actually write into their job descriptions the need to be committed to their family and specifically how they will do this.

Develop an activity together with your family as a whole and/or with individual family members. Maybe it's hiking, a date at Denny's for breakfast on Saturday, or coffee with your spouse where you pray together for your day. As you do this, remember that those teachable moments are almost like 'intentional accidents;' they happen, but not always because you planned them. So be sure to plan large quantities of time throughout the year so they'll have a chance to occur.

Create a spiritual 'life development plan' for each of your kids, outlining their strengths, their areas for improvement and your plans to shape their character as they grow up under your care. Our children are arrows that are being sent to a world that we will never fully see. It's our job to shape them into arrows that will fly straight and travel the distance to the kingdom target that God has intended for them.

Schedule a date night of at least an hour once a week ... with each child and your spouse where you just focus on them. It doesn't have to be expensive -- time alone is the critical ingredient here. When our budget has been tight, I've had this time in my backyard with my son.

When you're traveling, send emails or postcards back to your family. Call them on the phone and pray with them in addition to chatting.
At the end of each day, ask your kids or spouse these three questions:

• "What happened today that you're proud of?"
• "What happened today that you wish you could do over?"
• "Where did you see God in your day today?"

Christian Family Counseling - Make Some Changes Now!
When I speak to men about being a dad at Christian family counseling seminars, I ask them to call out words that define the memory of their fathers. Many words that are called out are negative words -- words like, 'absent,' 'domineering,' and 'detached.' If your children were asked to call out words today that defined your parenting, or if your spouse was reviewing your life at your funeral service, what words would they use? If you're not happy with what words are echoing around in your head, it's time to make some changes in how you're leading your family. And by the way, if you're the man in your family, make sure you're not abdicating all the work of leading your family to your wife; the role of leadership is not designed to be shouldered solely by her. Get involved!

I love how Eugene Petersen in "The Message" puts it, "Exploit or abuse your family, and end up with a fistful of air...." (Proverbs 11:29).

When my work years have come to an end and the castles of my ministry stand tall and strong, I want to be holding more than air, don't you? Are you pleased with the investment you have made in building your family and your marriage so far? If the answer is no, why not turn off the computer right now and plan a few important dates with your kids and your spouse?